Board Thread:Warhammer 40k Roleplay/@comment-25068159-20140221220528/@comment-5591425-20140228040923

OOC: oh, you meant those daemons materialised in front of Tane. oh ok sorry for the mix up. in regards to your pages, I personally find the Chryllian a little overpowered and a little under explained. I have no issue with home made races (or faction as it may be but they seem far removed from regular eldar and even corsairs and exodites.) but I do like them to be well based in canon lore. Such as I believe they used to be exodites correct? so their souls were saved from slaanesh by the world spirit, but since they hve left their home and entered space, it is not explained how they have transitioned, do they use spirit stones now? Also, the weaponry, I am seeing lots of strengths and not many faults. your guys appear to be amazing at everything, armour stronger than space marines with Tau strength weaponry augmented by Eldar warp technology and then you appear to dominate in close compat too. they appear to have technology far exceeding any other race and yet it is described that they have been barely holding on for the past millenia. It just feels like you have not thought out how this race  fits into the 40k universe and that every race has its weaknesses. They are Eldar corsairs, awesome. Corsairs have sometimes weird weaponry, awesome. they nicked (or developed) some Tau tech, alright. they have invincible grey knight custode super warriors... eehhhhh... not a fan.

on an entirely different note

IC: Tanes crozius reduces the head of a bloodletter to a paste before it can even finish snarling, Its body spinning down the hallway in a spray of ichor and flesh. The other bloodletter and the strange green daemon rush Tane as he turns to face them, his crozius parrying the bloodletters sword as he dodged the scything claws of the green one. Drawing his bolt pistol he plants a mighty kick into the bloodletters sternum, throwing it back with a meaty crunch of breaking bones and pumlped organs, but he knew that would not kill the beast. He loosed shot at the green creature, bolt shells exploding off the reinforced steel corridors, but none met their mark. the creature lunged at him and Tane barely raised his crozius in time to block and send it cartwheeling over his shoulder to land by the bloodied but rising bloodletter. Tane loosed a cry of fury and unleashed a storm of shells into the red monstrosity, blowing off limbs and shredding meat till the remains of the beast lay unmoving. at last the green creature remained, and it and Tane encircled each other, each one waiting for the other to make a move. finally the creature struck, diving at Tane with claws outstretched, only to find Tane rushing to meet the charge, his Crozius swinging in a great arc to catch the creature on its jaw, making its head snap back and coathanger onto its back. where Tane planted a heavy foot on its chest. The creature shrieked in protest and went to rent Tanes leg, but had its claws removed by two swift bolt rounds. Tane then stood over the creature, looking down on its wrishing, shrieking form.

"In the name of the Emperor."

The creatures head exploded as Tane brought his crzius down upon its face.

"This is Tane" He said panting into his vox, "We have a problem."